Woman With Vaginismus Explains Why Her First Sexual Experience Was ‘Heartbreaking’

Woman with vaginismus explains why her first sexual experience was ‘heartbreaking’.

Isley Lynn, 30, knew something was “seriously wrong” after her first boyfriend.

Isley Lynn was diagnosed in her late teens.

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Having sex for the first time is a painful experience for many women but for those with a condition called vaginismus, it’s much more complicated.

The NHS describes it as “when the vagina suddenly tightens up just as you try to insert something into it”.

It’s an automatic reaction that can be distressing and makes sex painful or sometimes impossible.

Isley Lynn, 30, knew something was “seriously wrong” after her first boyfriend, but had had problems from an early age.

She told to the BBC Newsbeat : “I tried my first tampon when I was 10 years old. It was excruciating, it felt like there was no hole, like there was a wall in front of where a hole should be.”

Inserting anything into the vagina can be agony for people with vaginismus

When it came to her first sexual experience she said she found it “heartbreaking”.

“I felt at fault for something that wasn’t my fault,” she added.

Isley describes vaginismus as being “not always in control of your body” – which can be frustrating for people with the condition and can impact how they feel in relationships.

She said she felt “afraid” her partners thought she didn’t love them or wasn’t attracted to them.

Vaginismus can make using tampons painful

Isley was diagnosed with vaginismus in her late teens and underwent treatment to try to resolve the issue.

She was treated with vaginal trainers which slowly increase in size to try to relax the muscles as well as physiotherapy.

The NHS website also suggest psychosexual therapy, pelvic floor exercises and sensate focus – exercises that help to relax and increase sex drive – as possible treatments for vaginismus.

Isley realised the treatments she was getting weren’t working and came to the conclusion that “being fixed” wasn’t the solution to her long-term happiness.

Isley’s play, Skin a Cat, details the experiences of a woman with vaginismus

She says she was asked by a therapist how much she wants to be “normalised” and that caused her to change her mentality.

Isley has since written a play about her experiences, called Skin a Cat.

In the final scene of the play, the main character realises “she doesn’t have to have a sex life like everyone else’s to enjoy it.

It’s difficult to estimate how many women in UK have vaginismus although a 2017 study suggests one in 10 British women find sex painful .

However, this could be down to a number of different reasons – with vaginismus being just one of them.

Source: https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/health/woman-vaginismus-explains-first-sexual-13345777